Stanley Cup final predictions featuring Keith, a coin, and the real Keith Aucoin

Stanley Cup final predictions featuring Keith, a coin, and the real Keith Aucoin

Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the sea comes the end of me and Ian’s fellowship with two Keiths, one human and one a coin. Time for one last round of predictions. I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.

Keith, a Coin, is a 2002 quarter minted in Pennsylvania. He knows nothing about hockey but somehow he guesses right about half of the time. That’s the bit. Well, two bits to be precise.

Special guest predictor Keith Aucoin played 145 NHL games across nine seasons. He was the Joe Thornton of the AHL, racking up 613 assists in 769 nice games. Also he’s a very good sport for hanging out with us here.

Our results appear below, using the universally understood ๐Ÿšฝ/๐ŸŒฎ score-keeping system.

First Round To fart Ian Keith1 Keith2
FLA beat WSH ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
TBL beat TOR ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ
CAR beat BOS ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ
NYR beat PIT ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ
COL beat NSH ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
STL beat MIN ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ
CGY beat DAL ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
EDM beat LA ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
Second Round To fart Ian Keith1 Keith2
TBL beat FLA ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ
NYR beat CAR ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ
COL beat STL ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
EDM beat CGY ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
Third Round To fart Ian Keith1 Keith2
TBL beat NYR ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐Ÿšฝ
COL beat EDM ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ ๐ŸŒฎ
Finals To fart Ian Keith1 Keith2
TBD

Colorado โ„ (C1) vs. Tampa Bay โšก (A3)

To fart: I’m still bummed we only got four games on EDM-COL, but anyway here we are. If Brayden Point is back and feeling hundo, this series will be closer than last round would suggest. MacKinnon is above a point per game, and Makar is the best player still in the tournament. Goaltending is an issue as I’m skeptical about Kemper’s health (that eye problemโ€“ scary) and Francouz is kinda iffy, which is why I’m thinking this won’t be a short series. Colorado in 6.

Ian: The Tampa Bay Lightning have everything they need to repeat. They have stars who know how to win. They have fantastic offensive creators. Hedman is an elite defenseman. But there’s something that I just can’t shake about a team actually three-peating in the salary cup era. I just don’t believe it’s possible. Plus, the last time I saw the Lightning play a full game against the Washington Capitals in April, they looked slow and kinda terrible to me and I cannot in good conscience pick them to win a championship. I think their postseason power is derived from Andrei Vasilevskiy and his big fluffy pads. While his goaltending will once again be up-to-snuff, I think Colorado has the firepower to solve him. This is going to be one of those series where it’s Offense Vs. Defense, and while the defensive teams usually win in the NHL playoffs, the Avalanche will win this fight. Finally, the bell tolls for Tampa. Colorado in 6.

Keith, a corner: Tampa in 6.

Keith Aucoin, actually: This should be a great Stanley Cup finals. You can’t go wrong picking either side here. Tampa has won back-to-back championships and have the best goalie in the world. Colorado has been the best team in the NHL all season long, leading the way with Mackinnon and Makar. Losing Kadri is a big loss, anything they can get out of him would be huge plus. This is Colorado’s year. Colorado in 7.


Please share your predictions below. Say the team city and the number of games. Then make fun of our picks.

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